A safe word for caregivers of older relatives
Updated October 16, 2026 · 6 min read
If you help look after an older relative, you’re often the first person a scammer tries to get around. A safe word and a few simple rules help, as long as they come from respect, not control. Here is how to set them up in a way that keeps your relative’s dignity.
Start with respect
Say it as protection for everyone: “Scammers can copy voices now, so I’d like us to have a secret word. I’ll use it with you, too.” Avoid language that suggests they can’t manage. People who have been scammed are careful people, not foolish ones.
What a caregiver can set up
- A safe word, said aloud with them.
- A card of real numbers by the phone, including yours and the bank’s.
- Bank alerts and a trusted contact, with their consent.
- A rule that no money, codes or gift cards are sent after an incoming call without checking.
- A second person who also knows the plan, in case you’re unavailable.
If they’re often alone
- Check in regularly. Isolation helps scammers.
- Ask whether anyone has called asking for money, in a friendly, curious way.
- Tell visiting carers about the rule.
Where Countersign helps
A relative can text “CHECK” and a name and the real person is asked on their own phone. You can see who has learned the phrase and run a practice call with their permission. Nothing is installed on their phone.
Know when it isn’t enough
If your relative has memory loss, a safe word may be forgotten, so rely more on the rules: bank limits, trusted contacts and call blocking. See safe words and dementia.
Frequently asked questions
How do I protect an elderly person I care for from scams?
Agree a safe word and a no-money-after-a-call rule, add bank alerts and a trusted contact, keep a card of real numbers, and check in regularly.
Should I tell them about scams they might fall for?
Yes, calmly, with a plan rather than a warning, and without blame.